Laatste nacht

I was trying not to cry, but i failed. I was crying before i wrote this post.

" The night is over too soon," I whispered. Not to anybody but myself. Yes, i am in my room alone tonight after having a last supper with my besties.

It was nice, food and friends always get along great together.

I refused the offer of my friend to go to city for one last time. No, i am not in the mood for become the third person :P Yet, i choosed to see the metro and tram from my apartment's room. My usual night.

I am thinking, what i got after those 4 years? I am kinda a girl who love fairy tales that have happy ending. I always say, i want a happy ending.

and i don't think that i got happy ending now. Happy ending that i wanted. Well, eventhough i dont know what kind of happy ending that i wanted.

When i lose something, my mom always said, " Yah, kalo emang itu 'milik' kamu, kan pasti dikembaliin sama Allah ( If those lost things were yours, it would return to you eventually). And that always works. That give me a hope and also a power to accept the fact.

Then i am thinking, that was hopes that Amsterdam give to me in the end of the day.

A hope to meet this city again.
A hope to discovering this city again.
A hope to date with Amsterdam again.
and
A hope to see my dear friends again.

Hopes and friendship, the greatest gift that Amsterdam offers to me.

Friend who eager to cook for me.
Friend who want to help me clean the room.
Friend who help me to pack those stuff
Friend who eager to throw away my stuffes :D
Friend who eager to come to see me when she feel so exhausted.
Friend who feel guilty when he have to leave me alone in this room.

and for sure, i will be missing my 24 hour slash cheap internet connection :D
and also my room
my Net 5
my museums
my zeedijk
Utrecht's home
my kalvestraat
my leidseplein
my Dam
my metro 51

and the list will be longer and longer.

for now, i should be happy to thinking that there are my family and my loved one waiting me there. And i think, my life will be perfect if i can move them here. So i can get everything.

My fam, my friends, my bf and my city in one exact place. I can't be any happier.

But life have to choose.
Love have to choose.

and like my mom always said, if those stuffes are truly yours, then it'd be back to you eventually.

:)

Bulan.
*cross fingers*