A-newly-wife note

Dear husband,

I know you gonna read it since i link this blog to your email. *this is the only way for you to read my blog :p*

Hampir 4 bulan kita berumah-tangga (halah) dan sejujurnya, aku ngerasa belum jadi istri yang cukup baik untuk kamu.

Aku bukanlah tipikal istri yang bangun pagi dan menyiapkan sarapan. (kenyataanya, kamu yang selalu bangun lebih awal dan aku cuman menyiapkan sarapan roti ke kamu). Ngambekan aku juga masih banyak, bersih2 pun cmn kulakukan sabtu minggu (dgn catatan, aku sedang tidak malas).

Aku juga masih manja, bahkan kadang2 kelewatan. Dan kadang pun aku lupa, aku tidak hanya menikahi kamu, tapi juga keluarga kamu. Aku terbiasa hidup terpisah sejak 7 tahun yang lalu, mungkin aku juga sudah lupa, gimana rasanya aku punya seorang Ibu, karena sejak 7 tahun yg lalupun aku hidup terpisah dan tanpa ibu. Aku lupa, kamu tidak mengalami semua itu.

Aku juga akhir2 ini sering pulang malam. Mungkin kali ini yang berwenang lupa kalau aku sudah berkeluarga =D. Sedih rasanya, kalau lihat kamu sudah di rumah, sedangkan aku masih di kantor.

Walau kadang aku suka merindukan masa single-ku, karena bisa pulang malam tanpa merasa bersalah, tapi setelah melihat kamu dan bisa peluk-peluk kamu, rasanya beban kantor itu menghilang.

Aku berusaha sayang, selalu berusaha setiap hari untuk menjadi istri lebih baik. Berusaha untuk membuat kamu tidak menyesal untuk memilih aku jadi istrimu. :)

Aku sayang kamu. Sangat. Sekarang dan selamanya.

love,
your pretty wifey
Bulan Mendota Ferdian :D

Valentine is coming...

After 4,5 years together, im not that exited for valentine. well this year will be different though :D

Anyway... i want to share you one old song from Bread. My bf likes Bread so much, and because of him, i like Bread as well. Today, i browse to youtube and listen some of their songs. Our favorite is Bread-Make It With You ( well, ofcourse there is story behind this song ;). However, i also like this song :

BREAD - Baby I'm A Want You



yes baby, I'm A Want You and I'm A Need You :)

lumuanu. :)

quote from my former secret blog

After reading http://lajnmen.blogspot.com/2009/09/si-lajang-secret-blog.html , about a secret blog that you have when you were PDKT with ur significant one, and i feel like, oh yes, i do have one. I did write it when i was 2005's, when i had roller coaster feeling with my beibeb.

this is my favorite quote, when i try to picture my dream boy, which i really hope that he is the one.

anyway, i am looking a boy who can count me in.. who can controlling me, who can advicing me.. who can spoilling me.. who can understand my problem dan didnt burned because of my problem..
who can cheer me up when i broken down..
who can share my story to him..

Oh yes, he's the one :)

Happy Anniversary :)

Thank you for being there when i was sad,
Thank you for being there when i have bad mood,
Thank you for being there when i have my-bitchy-time-called pms,

above of all,

thank you for being there in happy and good times.

you are always there in ups and downs times.

You're the one who i'll call when i have a bad mood and bad news,
as well as when i have a good news.

You're very supportive in everything that i do,
even though, you hate that.

You, not the one, who would give me a only a cheering words to make me feel better,
but you the one who give me improvement and advices words, who make me better.



when i have to choose sudden decision,

you are the one who i will always ask.



You, never fails to make me smile.




Happy 2 year anniversarry





Bum, a poetry to Ben.

someone out there, listen!

in one conversation in one sunny afternoon, my friend suddenly asked me,

him: what's your boyfriend criteria?
me: hmm *thinking* well, i and him should able to click together. so, we can talk each other well.
him: sounds easy.
me: *look him* no, it isn't easy. i love good talk, thus, i want my partner should able to share and talk about everything without getting boring. i and him should still have interest in each other, so we can avoid borringness which could make us separated.
i want everyime i see him, i still can fell butterfly in stomach. :)
oh ja, one more thing, he must have lot of patience.

him: Patience? ow, of course!

happy anniversarry 20th month, honey!

thanks to technology :D

i am so glad that we life in the world which able to connect people around the world instantly
i am so glad that i dont have to same experienced like my dad and my mom who also had LDR before they decided to married..
can you imagine, they built their relationship only with love letters which they got only maybe twice in a month? and the rest thet lent with trust between each other..

i am so glad that right now i can see you sleep, like a baby, tired because you have to awake until 3 AM in your time just because you wanted to chat with me..

i am so glad i can only sms 'call me' and in a minute you called me, listen me whose crying in the corner of my school..
i am so glad i can just type away 'i miss you' when i miss you without should find a paper, envelope and stamp to write what i am feeling right now because who knows in the time you get my letter i already hate you :p

i am so glad that skype has alredy invented when i begin LDR with you, so i dont have to open bill with a nervous hand :D
So i dont have to see my dad become angry with me when he sees my bills who i should pay of, like my brother when he had long distance relationship with his wife,..
And i am so glad that when i was back home, CDMA has already booming, so i didnt have to call with my home phone, and my dad dont argue with the bill like he did with my brother...

thanks to technology :p so i dont have same experience like my parents 30 years ago and like my brother 4 years ago..

i just wonder that maybe my son/daughter will have same experience with LDR as well just like her mom, uncle and her grandparents did :p

sssttttt... my baby still sleeps now :)

found you

I am so glad to found you :)

hey, i am not talking only for ONE person :P

today was
had a great conversation with my dad
had a new knowledge from my lecturer
had a good laugh with one of my big bro :p
had a nice call with my bf
and
had one warning from my HR 'coz i missed the deadline :p
dont forget to mention,
had first blackout (2 hours) in my building :p

welterusten allemal

xxx,

'LDR'

"Aku cuman mau kamu disini" teriaknya di ganggang telfon,

*hening*

"Kalo kamu memang mau sama aku, ya resikonya km harus LDR"

"Aku cuman mau kamu disini, aku ga mau yang lain.. "

"Aku sudah berusaha.."

"Kenyataan bahwa kamu belum tentu kamu kesini buat ak sedih"

"it make me sad too"

*hening*

gosh, i still should do all of my assignments, my deadlines are tight, my resits are waiting, why should i troubled myself into long-and-tired fighting. Sometimes, love make your life become so difficult :(

aku dan kamu

kamuh,

kamu pasti setuju kalo kita semua berhak takut kan?
dan aku mempunyai 'ketakutan-ketakutan' itu...
yang mungkin sebagian susah untuk kamu pahami...

i am so lucky to have you in my life,...
i do...

sorry for troubled you so much today...

maaf buat keegoisan ak, maaf untuk kata2ku yg tidak terkontrol..
maaf buat km kecewa sama aku...

ik hou van jouw te veel..
so much sometimes, and it hurts..

Im a delusion angel
I’m a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Lodged in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current

I carry you
You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

Dominik Castell as Streetpoet at Before Sunrise


bum :*

Letter of Love

Dear Sayang,

kamu masih bobo ya? mestinya seh.. soalnya tadi ak sms kamu 2 kali ga km bales. Pasti km denger smsku tapi karena km ngantuk banget kamu diemin aja, dan melanjutkan mimpimu.
Haha iya, kemaren km kan bangun jam 3 lagi buat chatting ama aku. Jadi kamu pasti ngantuk banget sekarang.
Ya udah, bobo dulu aja deh, ak yakin km jam 3 pagi dah bangun lagi dan baru sadar kalo ak dah sms km 2 kali.

Sayang..
Sorry yah. ak gak bales sms mu tadi pas di kantor, bahkan ajakan kamu buat chatting pun ga ak bales.
Hectic banget di kantor tadi say.. supervisorku ga masuk, jadi yg ngurus website itu aku.
Apalagi sistemnya baru say.. jadinya kadang ak mesti bingung dan ati2 buat masuk2in berita.
Tapi tetep aja berjalan dengan baik kok, buktinya jam 5 sore ak bisa pulang dengan tenangnya. :P

Sayang...
Besok valentine!!!!!! kamu tau kan gimana ak percaya ama valentine ini. Kamu pasti juga udah ak ceritain cerita valentineku selama di SMA.
Pas masih ada mama, dan kita berdua berdagang untuk membuat cokelat dan membungkusnya agar cantik.
Besoknya ak ke sekolah buat bawa cokelat2 itu dan membaginya kepada teman2 dekatku.
Teman2 dan juga ehm-ehm ku dulu, :P juga ngasih ak hadiah valentine. Ada yg pernah kasih ak cincin =)), kasih ak kaset ada juga yg kasih aku boneka.
Dan tak lupa, cokelat2 dari teman2 dekatku. Waahh, pokoknya hari valentine ak selalu dapat bermacam-macam cokelat! Menyenangkan dehh..

Hon, Aku tau kamu pasti biasa2 aja ama hari ini (seperti km biasa2 aja ama hari ulang tahun, padahal menurutku itu sakral loh!)
tapi pasti karena ak menyambutnya dengan penuh suka-cita kamu tidak akan mengecewakan aku.
Kamu janji kan buat pulang cepet biar bisa voice chat ama aku ;)
Padahal besok aku juga ga kerja yg berarti kita juga bisa chatting an seharian :D
Kamu janji ga akan buat val day kayak taun kemaren, dimana ak cuman bengong di rumah sambil nonton DVD. :P

Jadi paling gak, ak bisa ngerayain valentine sambil chat an ama kamu
*ak juga berpikir buat bersihin kamar dan ngerjain tugas :P mumpung libur gitu.. :)

Say, 5 hari lagi juga kita dah 7 bulan :D . Waahhh.. angka yang lama untuk hubungan jarak jauh :P
dan 7 bulan yg lalu kita baru saja pulang dari Berlin =)). Masa-masa menyenangkan itu yah say..

Say, km jangan marah ya kalo ak posting di blog sini :P .Sekali2 aja yah say.. tapi kalo km ga mau juga nanti ini tak cancel :D
Oh ya say, padahal ak dah bilang ama km yah kalo blog ini baru aja menginjak umurnya yang ke empat :D
tapi kok ak belum2 ngepost aja, waktunya juga dah lewat.. 11 Februari kemaren.

Kalo yg namanya anak, berarti dah mulai masuk TK :D, masih lucu dan agak2 ngeselin. *eh tapi km sebel ama anak kecil yg ngeselin yah :P

Ya udah say.. Happy Valentine day yah.. :)
*buat km seh udah valentine tapi kalo ak masih menunggu 5 jam lagi neh, makanya.. kamu bangun donk sayy... :D

love,
Bulan

6 bulan yg lalu, saya bermimpi tentang sesuatu yg saya -sedikit- harap akan terkabul.. karena banyak harapan2 saya yg lain yg saya ingin terkabul..

Dia memberikan saya jalan, celah, dan i was hope it would be fun..
and it was..
although, saya hanya bermimpi sedikit.. dia memberikan banyak celah
dan saya ragu,
tapi saya berjalan dan menikmati keraguan saya..

saya berjalan dalam keraguan saya
menikmati segala detik keraguan dan kepastian tanpa ingin tahu lebih lanjut..
sampai, walau lambat, saya sampai ke tempat sebuah kepastian tanpa pemberitahuan lebih lanjut

sungguh, saya ingin mengkonfirmasikannya..
tapi,
bukannya sudah sangat terlihat dari nya..
tapi,
saya juga ragu dengan jalan yg akan datang..

saya takut,
saya tidak bisa memprediksinya,
dan saya takut kehilanganya..

*let me enjoy the summer's sun lights with dia..

-mood song of the days-

Kelly clarkson-breakaway
Akon-Mr Lonely
Jack Johnson-Inaudible Melodies
Jack Johnson-Better Together
John Legend-Ordinary People

*sigh..

now, i am in the mood of what?

guys girls, i will back to Indonesia in 20 July..
and how do you feel, bulan?

honestly, i am scare ..
scare to fact 'those' facts that haunted me more than 6 months..
ah yeah, i am that kind a complicated girl..
who make simple things become complicated somehow..

i've had lot rejections, and i've had lot miracles..
and i realized that i am not ready to lost you this soon,,


I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway


touch me, hug me and greet me with "welcome in twenty, Honey"

nou jah..