song of today: menanti sebuah jawaban-PADI

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
dan ak tak bisa menyentuh hatimu

Seiring Jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku telah terpagut oleh cintamu
menelusup hariku dengan harapan
(Namun kau masih) terdiam membisu

reff
Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan
tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
menanti sebuah jawaban

tuk memilikimu
betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku
semoga kau tau isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yg berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
dan aku tidak bisa menyentuh cintamu...

------------------------------------------


Dear God,

I am desperately need you now..
need you to keep my head think normal..
need you to understands what are you planning to my life's path
need you to still in my side
guarding me..
and protecting me..
for all that bad thoughts that flies in my head...

I am just so tired to get all of these surprises that you given to me..
call me a bad people, but after all , my question is 'why me?'
really...

my head is full of the things that you given to me..
is there not enough , God?
why?
after all of the sadness that you given when you take my spesial lovely mom?..
after i feel quite happy and start to bless my 'new' family?
after i start to loving all of the things that i hate before?
after i was worried all the things and all of bad things happens to me?

i can not sleep today...
and my tears is still continueing falling down..
and my head is keeping worrying..
and my wasted heart just feel that i am a useless person..

God...
i think you have all the answer..
because every people say
that God give you what you need not what you want..
but God,, tell me and take me to understand that the things that you given to me is the things that I need...
because i just cant figure it out..
because.. i just.. an ordinary people..
that questioning your path so many times...

and I heard some of bad news about the bombs in Bali..
and i just feel... guilty, of course
me and my spoiling attitudes..
am I annoying you God?

God...
*take the big breath.. and exhale it...

"ketika keretaku telah datang kembali
membawa cintaku tertera di dasar hati
menawarkan kepedihan
diantara tawa
namun ak masih tersenyum"
masih tetap tersenyum - PADI