i was shocked, i am shock..

still..can not get through into it..
i know , i know, even dewi said that she can't said to me for not stress to think about it, she knew that i would stress to think about it, and I am..

really wanna go home to Indonesia, cry in mama's place and ask so many question to her..

don't say i am pathetic because i am being so mushy for this thing.. Lau said that this is not 'only' thing but it is a big thing.. and here it is..

Guys, i am not a weak girl, i dont want to blame in this problem, but guys, when i was try to forget it, i got so many fact that make me confused to take position in this problem.

the more you know, the less happy you get..
it is true..

i try to close my eyes, forget it, think another things that maybe more important, but still my tears was falling down, it was hurt, guys..

still couldn't believe it, even i was predicted this problem will come, but when it come up, i was awkard, dont know what should i react to face this case.

talking, talking and sharing my problem are the way i use to face this problems. its for me, but not for him.

i know he will be quiet, i just doesn't want he will explode in the wrong time..

God , thanks because you still give me the people who i can believe to calm down myself who cry all the time,... don't call me pathetic, you didnt know what it felt in my position.

bulan - there is no tears in my eyes right now, anyway, yeah because i already tired blame in my tears-